Well its coming close to the date an we all know what is in 8 days. Im not really sure where im going with this post im just kinda rambling. I was sitting on the couch the other day with him and we were sitting completley apart i started thinking about the past 6 years what we both use to be how we both use to be. Of course you never think about how "you" have changed you start thinking about him wondering what happened he doesnt bring you breakfast in bed he doesnt send you surprises no more hes nothing that he use to be and i began to wonder what did i do what i said to change him hes not like he use to be he doesnt do the things that he just to do sometimes i wish i could change him back but you cant teach a old dog new tricks or can you?

Artist:
Stone Sour
Album:
Come What (Ever) May
Title:Through Glass

I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much time has past
Oh, God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

How do you feel?
That is the question
But I forget
You don't expect an
easy answer

When something like a
soul
Becomes initialized
And folded up like paper
dolls and little notes
You can't expect the
bitter folks
And while your outside
looking in
Describing what you see
Remember what your
staring at is me

Cause' I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much
time has past
All I know is that it feels
like forever
And no one ever tells you
That forever feels like
home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

How much is real
So much to question
An epidemic of the
mannequins
Contaminating
everything
And if that came from
the heart
It never did, right from
the start
Just listen to the noises
(Now I'm more, instead
of voices)

Before You tell yourself
It's just a different scene
Remember it's just
different from what you've
seen

I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much
time has past
Now all I know is that
feels like forever
And no one ever tells
you
That forever feels like
home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

Cause' I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much
time has past
Now all I know is that it
feels like forever
And no one ever tells
you
That forever feels like
home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

And it's the stars... the
stars... that shine for
you
And it's the stars... the
stars... that lie to you

I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much
time has past
Oh, God it feels like
forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like
home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

Cause' I'm looking at you
through the glass
Don't know how much
time has past
All I know is that it feels
like forever
But no one ever tells you
That forever feels like
home
Sitting all alone inside
your head

And it's the stars... the
stars... that shine for
you
And it's the stars... the
stars... that lie to you
And it's the stars... the
stars... that shine for
you
And it's the stars... the stars... that lie to you

Oh, when the stars...
Oh, when the stars...
they lie

*sighs* as i sit and watch the rain slowing drizzling on my day.. and as the day passing me by as fast as it can... i take a plunge in to my own self pitty many things run through my head so many people that have impacted my life a live or dead. Tired of being sick tired of the one standing alone surrounded by those who love me but at the same time i feel alone like something isn't complete, every now and then i can convince my self to smile and that it will be all OK but then the depth of the sadness and loneliness sucks me back in again. Its not what some one is doing or saying its what they have done and what they have said. People can learn to forgive but i doubt they can ever teach them selves to forget or at least its hard for me.

The first person that usually comes to my mind and i don't even have to try is my father i think about him in my sleep while I'm awake an most of the time i want to curl up and scream as loud as i possibly can and cry... i know life must go on but doing that a lone is always harder than it seems.. I keep telling my self one more year he will be home safe and sound back at being a father a grandfather a teacher a husband and a best friend being the one we all want to come back better stronger and wiser. Then i pray we can put the druggy and the prisoner we know now behind us and start over bigger stronger and braver then ever before. Then i wake up to reality and ask my self do i really think it will go that way..

I hate the life that has been given to me but i learn to love it more and more each day because if it wasn't for this life i would probably be someone no one loves. I was taught to stand up for what you believe whether or not anyone agrees with you because your opinion is what makes you so unique. And women and men should be treated equal because damnit anything a man can do we can do it the same or even better. You may get knocked down but you aren't human if you cant bounce back up again.

I haven't blogged in a while nothing much has happened in my live except I'm sicker than hell thanks to one of the girls i work with she was kind enough to share.. damn her. I have been able to see my niece and nephew thank god they are my babies and i wouldn't trade anything in the world for them... my brother is a piece of shit he thinks he can just have more kids and forget about those hes the kind of man that needs his balls cut off! Well on that note in going to go write him and tell him how much of a worthless bastard he is!