There is one thing about being happy with your self and letting people be happy with you. As a female every day reality sets in and you look around and wonder how can someone love you most of the time i beat my self down and cant find a reason or way anyone can. I'm not happy with my self over the last couple years i feel like i have let my self go my weight its not like i gained 200+ pounds but i do feel like i have put on weight i quit caring about my tan my hair my everything i have stopped caring and started caring about working now Ive got the time to stop and look in the mirror and my first couple of words are O DAMN i look like nine kinds of hell.
It took me beating my self up wondering why and when did this happen. I had a problem i wouldn't be intimately involved with my partner because of this, this would stop everything because while it was happening i would be questioning my self o god don't move like that because that looks gross or don't this or that because he might see you don't have sex with the lights on because ugh!!!
So i said time to do something about it something has to give some where and its going to take me to do something about it if i ever want to be happy. I took me a long time to realize you cant let someone love you if you don't love your self.. just as well as you cant make your life happy if you your self aren't there is no since in trying to lie to your self because in the end you will be depressed always wondering what would had been if you would have put your foot down and made your self happy.
So now I'm on these diet pills and I'm losing weight and beginning to feel allot better about my self now I'm beginning to want that intimate feeling not like a damn rabbit just to know im loved and someone has a attraction to me.. but ive yet to recieve that.............
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